Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
