she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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