You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize