I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize