If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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