this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
