Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
