check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
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