my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
