I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
