Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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