Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Sober January is a disaster.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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