Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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