You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
