I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm really into asian looking animals
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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