dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
