i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
either way he was missing a nipple.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
