If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
