I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
