Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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