for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My feet surprised me
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
