oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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