One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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