I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
