you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
