Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
