i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
