my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
