so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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