I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
