guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
