He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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