i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
