You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
