I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
