I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
