you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
