I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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