I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
