I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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