Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
