I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
