If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I did not marry a roomba.
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