her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize