dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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