Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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