first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
they're like a gay fantastic four
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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