we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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