The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
