yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
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