no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
