I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Randomize
