You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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