I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
