At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
