Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
