Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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