After last night, I could never be a politician.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
