what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
