woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
