I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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